I spent the day unpacking and cleaning my bedroom, gliding a faded blue tea towel along window sills and conscientiously gathering books into specific piles. After supper, as a pink-streaked sky set in, my job was finally done. The place was tidy and polished; it felt like mine once more. I sat at my desk, a beautiful golden oak-y one, and looked out at the full green conifers just outside the window. Suddenly, everything did not seem so scary after all.
Cork in the early morning, in the in between before 7am.
I am not quite sure how well I handle change. In any case, I will soon find out as I prepare to return to university and move country. My general internal reaction to must things that worry or stress me is to shut down. I have an inbuilt and somewhat shameful tendency to become sad and anxious as soon as I really have to do something.
Now, everything is tinged with the wild and dazzling vibrations of change. I will pack up my things and move and move again. And September – my favourite month – seems like the right time to do just that. But, it’s always disturbing to come face to face with with what has happened when a phase of your life comes to a close. I, for one, become consumed with regret because I did not take stock of life when I was experiencing it in the first place.
I think of all those really, really early mornings, in ice and cold, milky sunlight and those equally late nights that rolled into daytime. I wish I could have documented it all even when there was nothing really to say about it. And now, as life spins in a different direction, I am troubled that it slipped away without me even realising it. It is a terrible and universal truth that life only becomes tangible and actualised just as shifts.
Who were your influences at that time?
Well, I liked Hopper, but I didn’t really know anything about painting, so I didn’t have any heroes, I think, until I saw Francis Bacon’s work in New York in 1966. But I like organic phenomena and the biggest influence I always say was the city of Philadelphia. I think I got my first original idea when I was 20 in Philadelphia. It was unique. It wasn’t New York. The style of the architecture was a bit different and it had incredible mood and incredible industrial buildings. It had a thick layer of fear; it was a corrupt city and a fearful city. I felt a lot of insanity. It is called the City of Brotherly Love, Philadelphia. But it was absolutely the reverse at the time. I say Eraserhead is my Philadelphia Story. I like smoke and fire and the sounds of the factories.
-David Lynch on in his early influences for Another.
I like how he considers the ‘mood’ of a city to be an influence. That is a difficult thing to concretise, but I think I know what he means.
Paul Dano as Brian Wilson in the fantastic Love & Mercy (2014)
via Poetry Archive